So Chicago wins. I tried googling an image of Chicago to post, but then I saw Kane holding the cup and I instantly wanted to punch my computer screen. So instead of potentially getting fired from work for drop kicking my monitor and doing a bizzare version of the "People's Elbow" that would involve me toppling several cubicles to complete, I decided to go with the picture of Bieksa shushing Chicago.
I really wanted Philly to win. I really really did. I put my faith in them. Even though I knew as I was doing so, that by putting my faith into them, as a Canucks fan, I was cursing them. I was damning them to lose. And lose they did. Dan Cloutier would have been proud of the goal Leighton let in to lose the game. The goal was unbelevably terrible. I do that sort of thing in ball hockey once in a while and I berate myself all week about it; Leighton did it on the biggest stage of them all, so I can't imagine how badly he must feel about that one. Luckily I was able to get a machine, endorsed by Ron MacLean, that allows me to read players thoughts. So without further ado, here are Michael Leighton's thoughts leading up to,and after, the goal.
Michael Leighton: "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, the puck is coming near me.....ok good it's out.....oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck Chicago touched the puuuuuuuuck.....ok good....fuuuuuuuuuuuck Chicago is in my zone GET OUT GET OUT GET THE FUCK OUT.....phew.....oh look, there is Jeff Carter playing like shit again, that's nice......oh shit oh shit Chicago is coming in the zone, it's Patrick Kane, fuck fuck fuck, someone hit that little shit. Oh god he dangled by the guy on the boards, omg omg omg he's in the corner, fuck, I better hold onto this post......wait......what.......oh shit......please don't tell me that was the puck.....please don't tell me that just happened......oh god......maybe if I don't move or look, the puck never went in the net........oh god.......what have I done..........fuck."
That being said, the person I lashed out the most at, and the person I set a subtle foreshadow trap for, was Jeff "YOU SUCK" Carter.
Holy lord did he ever play like shit. I swear to god, every game I watched of this guy in the playoffs was like watching an experiment gone horribly horribly wrong. You kind of watch it at first with a bit of amusment, which then leads to shock, which then leads to being scared, and finally settles into the nice lull of sweet sweet anger.
The dude just plain out sucked. Couldn't score. Couldn't pass. Couldn't play defence. Just a clusterfuck of clusterfucks play after play. And he got his Lafayette moment last game. Not as good as Lafayette's moment, but a moment nonetheless.
The game is tied, Philly has gotten a lucky bounce off of Hossa's leg and tied it at 3. A few minutes left in the game. The puck is in Chicago's zone, the Flyers are pressing, Carter gets the puck, Niemi is down, Carter swings out in front of the net......and.........
Shoots the fucking puck low into Niemi's face.
Yep.
Fucking Niemi, who I dislike immensely as a goalie, went down early and Carter thought it would be wicked to shoot low instead of roofing the puck high.
Once Carter missed that shot I knew it didn't matter, at that point on it was Chicago's game. Did I think Chicago would win on a terrible goal like that? No. But I knew they would win.
So in conclusion, fuck you Chicago, I hope Kane gets his mullet lit on fire during some post game celebrations.
