1998 called. They want their Canucks back.

Don't know who this is? Don't worry. Steve Washburn doesn't even remember playing for us.

Darby Hendrickson. Steve Washburn. Harry York. Brandon Convery. Bert Robertsson. Mark Messier. Those are just some of the names of the Canucks who played for our 1998-1999 team. One of the worst Canuck teams of all times. These are a bunch of forgetable players who we had to rely upon to get us into the playoffs, and to win us a Stanley Cup. Not surprisingly, they failed more times than Mark Messier pretending to be straight at a strip club. Zing. Yes, I still hate you Messier. I always will.

So why am I sharing these horrible memories with you? Because I want to point out that it isn't the end of the world. That the Canucks playing badly is not a sign of impending doom. That we do have the personel to still make this one kick ass season. The Canucks simply have too much talent to play this badly all season long. The Canucks will play better. And they will turn this season around. There is a difference between watching Harry York center your third line and struggling and watching Manny Malholtra center your third line and struggle. When you watch Malholtra you know he can turn it around. When you watched Harry York play center, you wanted to find the nearest fire axe so you could toss it at the ice in the hopes of hitting Harry York and thus freeing you of the curse of Harry York.

Part one of my series of interesting facts about Harry York:

He played Roller Hockey for the Chicago Cheetahs in 1995. The same league that the Vancouver Voodoo played in.

This ends my series of interesting facts about Harry York.


That being said, there are plenty of things to complain about, and I will start with my review of last nights 'game' that I forced myself to watch.

Game Hilights

-Unlike the Chicago game, the main highlight of the night for me was not turning off my TV after the game was over

-Luongo had a nice diving stick save in the first(?) period. Sure it was a desperation save, but it looked pretty.

-Taylor Pyatt had two goals. He hadn't scored since the first game of the year. Nolan Yonkman had his first point of the season. He hasn't played in the NHL since 2005. Go Canucks go! sigh.

-Nolan Yonkman has an entire thread dedicated to talking about whether or not he has a girlfriend.

http://www.talk-sports.net/ahl/girlfriend.aspx/Nolan_Yonkman

This is either really really depressing, or.....nope, it's just really really depressing. Go Kelowna go! sigh.

-Samuelsson at one point made me scream "**** YOU SAMULESSON" in the game

-Raymond made me scream "**** YOU RAYMOND!" multiple times in the game.

-Bieksa almost had an end to end rush goal. Almost being the key word. Can't let us get too happy now can we.

-Luongo looked like he got shot at one point as he laid down on the ice in pain after a save. Corey Schneider almost had to go in, but Luongo shook it off just in time to let in the game winner off of Pyatt's leg.

-Tanner Glass got a goal. Yep. I guess on a night when Yonkman gets a point it makes sense that Tanner Glass gets a goal. It took a bounce from god himself for Tanner to get the goal (Schaefer made an east-west pass that took a nice bounce and landed right on Tanner's stick) but give credit to Tanner, he didn't screw it up like Bernier would have

-Joel Perrault is fun to watch. He will make a smart play, then RIGHT AWAY, make the dumbest **** decision with the puck you've ever seen. For example, he will see the other team trying to make an outlet pass, he will skate to intercept it, then promptly, with his head still down, fire the puck to the other team for no real reason. He also really enjoys chipping the puck off the glass without looking. Even if he has 3 seconds of time, an eternity in the NHL, he will still look at the ice, assess allllllllllll of his options, then promptly chip it off the glass right to the other team. sigh.

-The 4th line made sure that because they scored a goal, that they were on the ice for the game winning goal. Don't set the bar too high, boys.

-Alberts continues to lay out huge hits, thus making him the only defenceman on the team who actually lays out huge hits.

-Aaron Rome sucks.

Alright, now the good the bad, and the ugly of that game. Bonus points if you can guess which section will have the most content!

In honor of Harry York and the RHI, I present to you the Vancouver Voodoo! Woo! 4 year division champions baby!

The Good

- Ummmm....

- Well.....

- Hrm.....

- No wait, I can do this....

- We didn't lose 7-1?

- Bieksa played alright?

- Our powerplay didn't fail once tonight?

- Ballard didn't make one single mistake tonight?

- Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

The Oakland Skates, eh? That's the name of the team....even though a stingray is your logo? Riiiiight.

The Bad

- Oh goodie, there are plenty for this category

- Samulesson continues to be a complete non-factor. I know he likes to shoot from everywhere, that's cool and all, but at least when he shot last year he had power on his shots. This year he shoots with the strength of a 5 year old girl. One who hasn't eaten in 2 days. And is having second thoughts about her professional career of being an astronaut. And is in the middle of sleeping.

- The Sedins looked flat last night. They couldn't step up to save the team last night. Granted, they shouldn't have to step up every night to save the team, but it has been a while since we have seen a vintage Sedin night, where they dominate the puck posession.

- Luongo was ok. Not great, not bad. But as a supposed top 5 goalie, the last two games performances......

- And again, granted, this isn't all Luongo's fault. Our defensive coverage has been poor to say the least.

- Our third line is MIA. They were on a hot streak a while back, and I don't expect them to score every game, but god damn, if you aren't scoring, at least hustle your ass off. Raffi "Bananaphone" Torres is like the inivisble man out there, Manny "My moustache is weighing me down" Malholtra is starting to resemble Marc Chouinard as of late, and Jannik "I must break you" Hansen has forgotten what got him a spot on the third line in the first place, his relentless pace and hustle. Wake the **** up boys.

The team was called 'The Rad'z'. Yep. I am not making this up. What city chose this name, you ask? Why Calgary, of course. Yes. Now it all makes sense. Go Radz go! sigh.

The Ugly

- Mason "**** YOU! **** YOU! OMFG YOU ARE SO FREAKING AWFUL" Raymond. I swear to god, I want to punch you in the face so bad. Legal disclaimer, I mean metaphorically of course. Raymond is here to use his speed and to score. Currently he is not scoring. Currently he is not using his speed. The highlight of my night was watching him 'pounce' on a loose puck and streak in for a breakaway. Of course by streak I mean stumble and fumble his way to the net, at one point looking like he was trying to run on the ice instead of skate, looking like Gino Odjick on a goal celebration, only to end up with a weak backhand on net. My god, you are a big useless bag of suck right now. Rumor is he has a hand injury, thus that is why he is sucking. Well if you keep Ballard out of the lineup due to conditioning concerns, rest Raymond and put Tambellini in the freaking lineup, as at least Tambo can currently shoot the puck on net.

- Our 4th line. I am sorry, but it is still terrible. Joel Perrault should never have been called up. Ever. He is a terrible NHL player, he just cannot handle the speed of the NHL. I would rather have Harry York than Joel Perrault. And to be fair, I shouldn't include Schaefer in this group, as he at least contributes on the PK. I don't think anyone on our team has such an effective active stick as Schaefer does on the PK, he is always breaking up passes when penalty killing. He also isn't afraid to take a hit to make a play.

- All of our defenseman. It's still early, but man, do I miss Salo and Mitchell. Wait, scratch that, man do I miss a healthy Salo and a healthy Mitchell. Again, it's early, but a healthy Salo and a healthy Mitchell look way better than Hamhuis and Ballard have looked this year. Is this unfair to Hamhuis and Ballard? Maybe. It always takes time to adjust to a new team, sometimes this can take all year. But for two d-men to be supposed injury prone to come to the team and miss so many games already, and for Hamhuis to look lost the last week or two, and for Ballard to be scratched in favor of Aaron Rome, well, I wouldn't be lying if I wasn't a little bit alarmed.  Add into the mix Kevin "Gongshow" Bieksa, Christian "You're doing it wrong, you're supposed to play good in your contract year and float the year before that, not vice versa" Ehrhoff, and Alex "I swear, there is a #1 d-man hidden in me somewhere. No, honestly" Edler, and it leaves you with a defensive corps that just doesn't seem to be in sync with Luongo's weaknesses. Right now teams are exposing our backend worse than Messier at a gay strip club. Zing.

- Alain Vigneaults lineup choices. Joel Perrault? No Tambo? No Sweatt? No Ballard? AV is on thin ice this year, and has us off to a mediocre start. If this team struggles worse, or does not get past the 2nd round, AV might be looking for a new job come next year. This is his year to prove he can get this team to the next level, to make us look like a Detroit type team. No more of this "We learned a lesson from that 7 goal ass *****ing, we're a better team for it." **** that. We don't need anymore moral lessons. I've been learning moral lessons ever since the Canucks 'tried reallly really hard against Detroit' back in 2002 and still lost. **** that. I don't care about trying hard. Win! Just win baby! sigh.

MSN Game Winning Goal from the Chicago Game