(Would you like some pancakes?)
Two for the price of one! Yes sir, step right up, do I have a deal for you. Sorry about missing my game recaps, real life cares not about my blog, so sometimes I won't be able to get them up on time. So today I offer you a bonus 2 for 1 special, I will go over both games and talk about the road trip so far. If all goes well, I will even have a Toronto game preview up later. Yesssss. Alas, I do not have a TSN title today. If I did, it would probably involve the term Double Trouble or When Doves Cry.
Flux Capacitors will one day allow us to erase Dan Cloutier from the Canucks history books.
Game Highlights
-Carey Price got a shutout against us. This means all those annoying Montreal Canadian fans, you know, the ones you taunted about Halak leaving, yeah, they get to laugh back at us
-While Price did play well, the Canucks made it extremely easy on him by making sure we stuck to the peremiter and did not bother Price in anyway. "Oh sorry sir, I didn't mean to block your view. I'll head to the sideboards now. You look good, have you lost weight? My niece? Oh she's 17 now, you want her number? Here, let me light that cig for you" Daniel Sedin was heard to say at one point in the second period as he skated by Price.
-Montreal trapped the **** out of us which made for a boring game.
-Andrew Alberts ran over a smurf, much like I predicted in my game day preview. Alas he was terrible the rest of the game
He'd take pleasure in gutting you.....booooooooy.
-Roberto Luongo let in a terrible goal off of a bank shot off of the backboards. He was on the left side of the net, the puck bounced off the backboards, and came out on the right side. During this time Lu, in the midst of ordering a pizza? Checking out an ice girl? Trying to pee a little bit? took about 10 minutes to decide to lunge back over to the right side, but it was too late. Roman "I still play in the NHL? Sweet!" Hamrlik scored the PP goal that put the Canadiens up 2-0.
-Honestly, if you missed the Montreal game, it was basically this play from the Canucks all night:
1) Skate into the zone
2) Whatever you do, do NOT go in the middle of the ice
3) Make sure the puck is maintained on the outsides, along the boards. Preferably at the worst shooting angle as possible.
4) Eventually get the puck to the point
5) Either have the shot blocked from the point, or hit your guy in front of the net in the back of the leg
6) Make frustrated gesture or swear aloud, so people think you were "that" close to scoring a goal
7) Repeat as necessary.
8) Lose 2-0.
-The Ottawa game was better if only for the score, and the Rypien fights, as the Canucks won 6-2
Rypien using the elbows to set up the guillotine choke. MMA on ice.
-While the Canucks won 6-2, the game itself was also pretty bad from a Canucks perspective, as we pretty much only won the game because Pascal Leclaire played like a drunk, blind, kind of bored with his career so maybe he isn't taking this as seriously as he should goalie because lets face it, dad just wanted to live vicariously through you by getting you into the NHL, something he could never do, goalie.
-Ryan Kesler's game winning goal was basically an NHL 95 goal. Skate across the crease and tap the puck in on the far side. Leclaire even went down into the wrong save animation, just like in a video game. Stupid goalie did the split save animation, he should have slid right to left instead.
-Rypien wanted to fight Matt Carkner. Rypien is 5"11. Carkner is 6"4 240. Rypien started their fight with 3 punches to the face. This only served to anger Carkner. Carkner then beat down Rypein to the ice with repeated sledgehammers to the face. Kudos for trying Rypien, but sometimes the size and weight advantage is a bit too much, even for you. Should have gone for the kimura.
-Even though we won 6-2, the first period was filled with giveaways and sloppy play. The Canucks tried to let Ottawa win the game, nice visitors that they are, but Luongo actually played pretty well to make sure we didn't throw away another two points.
Sorry, the 4th line is the leading cause in feline aids.
-Yes, the 4th line scored twice. Now, before you get all excited, let me remind you that the first two periods that line was terrible. They were outshot 9-2 on the game. They didn't deserve any of their goals. The only reason they scored them was because Leclaire was awful and for some reason when he sees a puck in front of him, he refuses to stop hugging the post, refuses to stand back up, and watches as Tanner "DJ" Glass manages to score on him. Bliznak at least looks like an upgrade on every single center they've used so far on the 4th line but it's only been one game and that isn't a high bar to surpass.
The Good, The bad, and The Ugly
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Christian Bale approves this blog
The Good
- Ryan Kesler looks like the Kesler of old. He is being an annoying bitch. We like this. Kesler is our annoying bitch. We want him to play like this. He is throwing hits, defending well, and scoring some goals. He is the only reason our 2nd line hasn't been kicked out of the NHL and told to work at Starbucks.
-Sedins struggled in Montreal, but they haven't had many off nights this year. They played well in Ottawa. They are struggling to produce at the same clip 5 on 5 like they did last year, but at least their PP effectiveness has gone up, so I won't get too alarmed just yet.
-Luongo has played well. Not lights out like he did his first year here, but back then, we trapped the hell out of people, so he got many of those games Carey Price recently saw against us. Regardless, he played well in Ottawa, in a game that very easily could have ended up with us getting destroyed.
-Burrows is finally starting to get his legs under him. The sooner the better, as he makes the Sedins more effective when he is on his game, which might help their 5 on 5 production.
-Our 3rd line continues to impress me. Hansen made a nice pass on Kesler's NHL 95 goal last night. Also of note, Kesler got that goal during a line change so he was playing with Hansen and Torres. Raymond and Samuelson, you suck.
Christian Bale's 'Batman' Voice is truly terrible and befitting of the 'Bad' label. 'SWEAR TO ME!'
The Bad
-Sergei Gonchar's defence. Now, I know he isn't a Canuck, but this guys defensive awareness is on a whole nother level. First off, watch this, for proof of said awesome defense from the Gonch:
Gonchar literally lets Travis Moen walk right around him. Gonch throws up a polite elbow just to let Moen know he saw him, but other than that, he could have been doing a backwards skating drill for all we know.
This takes us back to last night:
Watch as Gonchar follows Burrows a bit but then leaves him alone once Burr spins off of him. Burrows goes to the front of the net for the easy tap in. Awesome. Granted, Fisher probably could have helped out a bit here by actually deciding to take a man, but that isn't as much fun as pointing out Gonchar's defensive deficiencies. Gonch should have followed Burrows and Fisher probably should have been actually trying to play some sort of man coverage, but alas....
-Raymond is teetering close to 'Ugly' territory. He looked like he had come so far last year but now his chemistry with Kesler is gone, and he just seems to have reverted back to skating around in circles again. Speed Racer Ray Ray is back. He cashed in his two year deal and now he is floating. Bastard.
-Ehrhoff, Edler, and Hamhuis have all played below average on this road trip. I have nothing funny nor insightful to add to this. I just thought you should know. Because I care about you.
That's Christian Bale in 'The Machinist'. Want a date, ladies?
The Ugly
-AARON ROME ON THE PP
-KEITH BALLRD SCRATCHED TWO GAMES IN A ROW
-AARON **** ROME ON THE PP
-Apparently Aaron Rome is a better player then Keith Ballard. Apparently long term wise, it makes sense to play Aaron Rome in these games because according to AV he is playing better than Ballard. It doesn't matter that Ballard probably needs gametime to find his groove, it doesn't matter that it doesn't make much sense to trade for a top 4 d-man and not use him. What matters is that Aaron Rome gets to keep playing, because god knows, without Rome, we'd be screwed.
-Samuelsson is still playing like shit. You heard my buddy. I know you read this blog. I know you do. So come on, hike up your skirt and start playing like a man. You have been an anchor on that 2nd line all season so far.
-Our 4th line continues to be terrible, and will always be on the 'Ugly' list for the forseeable future. They still cannot generate any offence unless you've got an inbred, possibly dying, most assuredly in a coma, goalie in net.
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MS Paint Picture of the Game
Alright, game day preview is up next, thanks for reading!
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