Canucks Wildly Run Wild over Wild Wild /#TSN Title

Kesler seeks position in government. Or he is stealing popcorn. Either or.

The Vancouver Canucks just keep rolling these days, their latest victim, the Minnesota Wild. The Canucks decided one periods worth of effort was enough as they jumped to a 3-0 lead quickly, and held on for the 4-2 win. Minnesota is in a tailspin as of late, and they were desperate for the points, making it all the more impressive that the Canucks once again have managed to take two points from a team so desperate to win. I am kind of torn of whether I enjoy squashing Minnesota's playoff hopes (Damn you 2003 playoffs....damn you) or whether I would rather have Calgary sweat it out more by having their opponents gain some points. Winning is always the best options in the end, though, so good on the Canucks for telling Minnesota to bite the curb. Is it too early to bust out an American X reference? Nah.

So for those of you who may have missed the game, or those who watched the game but are just on the edge of your seat wondering what I thought of the game, I present to you the highlights of the game. Due to lack of advertising, I don't have a cool name for this segment (Frito Lays Presents Wyatt's Hilights of the Game is not in my future sadly), but if I did, I'd like to think I'd enter a pretty graphic for it right about here.

-Raffi Torres scored what might have been one of the weakest goals in recent memory, as he unleashed a wrist shot from just inside the blue line that somehow managed to find its way behind Backstrom. As a goalie myself, I can break down Backstroms thought process for you. Imagine I am speaking with a Finnish accent, for full effect:

Backstrom: OK buddy boy, we can do this. God, I hate the Ikea. Long live the Finland! We are to be having an exciting time, ja? OK, here we go, game time. Time to make the saves, makes the ladies excited in the panties, and to reclaim all the glory for Finland. Ok, here we go, here comes the ginger man with no soul, here he comes, look at that pathetic soul patch of hair, you call that a beard, pfft. Oh, what is this, a wrist shot? He thinks he can beat ME with a wris-

NO! JA! NO! JA! NO! JA! NO!

My defenceman....he must have tipped it.....the puck....it isn't calibrated correctly....my glove....it has defect......the lights.....are too bright....is that a laser pointer.....it must have......I think......

Shit.

That is the life of a goalie folks. Scramble to try and lay the blame elsewhere before finally accepting the fact it was our fault, then drowning in self disgust. The truth is rarely pretty.

- At the begining of the year I thought putting Kesler with the Twins on the PP was  a terrible terrible idea. I stand firmly corrected, and I admit I am an idiot. This unit put on a PP clinic last night, passing the puck around like it was on a string. They kept the puck away from the Wild so effectivley that you almost felt bad for how stupid the Wild looked for thinking they could get the puck out of the zone. Until you remembered Darby Hendrickson scoring on Dan Cloutier in Raffi Torres like fashion from just inside the blue line back in 2003. Then you wanted Daniel to score, kick Backstrom to the ground, pull down his pants, and take a huge du-Wait, where was I? OK, in the end Kesler potted a goal, and much recjoicing was heard. 'Kesler Bomb!!!' was heard around the Province, and much giggling was had.

-Malholtra was a beast all night long. As games become more and more like playoff games as we reach the end of the year, you see a glimpse of which players might excel and which players might shrink away from the tight, hard nature of playoff hockey. And while I realize that last sentence was perhaps a tad bit erotic, it doesn't negate from the fact that Malhotra was putting his body on the line left and right to make sure the Wild didn't tie that game up. Come playoff time, you need players like Malholtra to win series

-Higgins also showed some moxy, as he too, played strong along the boards, and drove hard to the net. Said Higgins after the game "I eat pieces of shit like Minnesota for breakfast." thus bringing a rousing applause from Happy Gilmore fans everywhere.

-As for Shooter McGavin himself, Mason Raymond, once again he pulled off his mysterious magicians act that has stumped people for years. The Disappearing Raymond act that has people dying to know how he does it.

"Magicians never tell" smirked Mason Raymond after the game. "It's just something I was born with. My entire family has always been blessed with the ability to disappear during high stress situations. I knew at a young age that it was just something that came naturally to me. Playing dodegball in elementary school? People would think it was over, then BAM, I'd appear out of nowhere. People not even realizing I was gone. I'd of course be disqualified for leaving the playing field and hiding in the locker room, but the important thing is that rubber ball didn't hit me. It never hit me. Safety first folks, remember that. I just hope I can maintain that high standard and carry on the family tradition for this years playoff run. Fingers crossed, I won't get a single mark on me during this years playoffs."

When asked if that style of play might limit his effectiveness, Raymond laughed and responded "I have the shot of a two year old, I hardly think that will be missed" before his agent came rushing into the room to whisk Raymond away.

-Luongo played another really solid game tonight. He is quietly having one of the best seasons of his career, on par with his first amazing season with the Canucks. When asked if giving up the captaincy has helped him this year, Luongo responded "Yeah, I think it helped. Because I always know....that no matter what.....I'm still the captain.......of my pants. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah." before awkwardly trying to high five team mates around him.

-Chris Tanev on being able to play with someone else besides Aaron Rome "THANK YOU.....OH MY GOD.......*SOB*......THANK YOU KEITH.......THANK YOU......"

- Aarom Rome on having to be Aaron Rome and play with himself all the time: "Even I don't want to play with myself."

-Bieksa on playing with Aaron Rome "This is why I cut myself. To get away from Aaron. Now people finally know the truth."

OK, that's it for the recap, see you next time!