One of the perks of working with phones, is that I have learned how to tap into phones from anywhere in the world. Think of me as the CIA, except I get paid less, and have better benefits.
So with this knowledge, I have stockpiled many conversations from NHL members, and will release them for your enjoyment from time to time.
Enjoy!
Montreal, June 17th, 2010:
Doug Armstrong, the Blues GM and Pierre Gauthier, Montreal Canadiens GM
(A phone is ringing)
Doug: Ahoy hoy.
Pierre: Ah, hello, hey Doug. Dougie. Dougster. Dougarella. Count Dougula.
Doug: Let's just stick with Doug.
Pierre: Ah, of course, that is ok with me. Ok, Doug, listen to me. I have a bit of a problem on my hands. As you know, we have a bit of a goaltending controversey on our hands-
Doug: So what do you want for Carey Price?
Pierre: What? Carey? Nothing, nothing. We are trying to trade Halak.
Doug: Hal..Halak?? The guy who just beat Washington and Pittsburgh?
Pierre: Yes, the one who failed against the Flyers.
Doug: The one who got Slovakia into a top 5 finish at the Olympics?
Pierre: Yes, the one who failed to medal at the Olympics.
Doug: The one who is only 26 years old and just hitting his prime?
Pierre: Yes, the one whose career is winding down.
Doug: I don't know what to say, I mean, of course we'd love him-
Pierre: Done.
Doug: Wait, what, you don't want anyone for him?
Pierre: ....
Doug: Hello?
Pierre: You were going to offer someone for him?
Doug: Wait, you were just going to trade him to me for nothing?
Pierre: Of course not. No. It must be the french accent. It is throwing you off. You are hearing things. Les poissons, les poissons, how I love les poissons
Doug: Did you just quote the Little Mermaid?
Pierre: No....no....of course not.....So what were you thinking of offering for Halak?
Doug: Well, not much, to be honest. I don't know if we can afford Halak's new contract....I don't know if we are willing to deal away prospects right now...
Pierre: Look Doug, I'm going to level with you. I'm not a very good GM. Bob Gainey tells me what to do 75% of the time. I just need a player I can build up to my fans as being an amazing prospect. If he fails, hopefully I'll be fired by then, and won't have to deal with it. If I'm still here, I'll blame the coach for not doing his job.
Doug: Er....wow.....I don't know what to say to that.
Pierre: Just throw out a name. Anyone.
Doug: I mean, this seems-
Pierre: Anyone Doug. Jeremy Roenick? Do you have that guy?
Doug: We never had him.....he's retired-
Pierre: Gionta? How about Gionta?
Doug: Gionta is on your team already....
Pierre: He doesn't have a twin? Doesn't Vancouver have a set of those? Why can't I have a set of Gionta's?
Doug: Er....
Pierre: Look, just give me anyone.
Doug: How about Ian Cole? He is a good young up and coming d-man.
Pierre: How tall is he?
Doug: Er...6"1, not that tall-
Pierre: Gainey says that's too tall. Someone shorter.
Doug: What? Er, how about Lars Eller?
Pierre: How tall?
Doug: 6"0
Pierre: Gainey doesn't like that. Can you list him on your roster as 5"11?
Doug: I guess-
Pierre: Perfect. Done deal.
Doug: Well, thanks Pierre. Though I have to say, aren't the Montreal fans going to be pissed off about this?
Pierre: Just don't win the cup next year.
Doug: Hahaha
Pierre: No. Seriously. Please don't win the cup.
Doug: Well can I ask one more thing Pierre?
Pierre: Of course.
Doug: Why are you trading Halak? Honestly?
Pierre: Honestly? Gainey lost a game of beer pong against Carey Price. Now he has to trade Halak.
Doug: Beer pong??
Pierre: Yes, beer pong. That Carey, he's a natural at that. Terrible goalie. Great at beer pong.
Doug: Ok....welll......thanks.......
Pierre: Gainey says bye.
Doug: Bye.
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